Holiday parodies

Nearly everything else 'sleep' related not covered in the other forums.

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Holiday parodies

Postby labman2 » Mon Nov 19, 2007 10:48 pm

Ok folks- ever the serious one here, I invite all to enter in the holiday song parody thread.

rules- original parody of a holiday song must be sleep disorder themed.

- -also can rewrite sleep themed parody of "Twas the night before Christmas."

- must be sure to include what the original holiday song is

- keep it G rated!


- winner will be bestowed title of 1st annual Miscellaneous Mistletoe Madness Award designation and all the honor that comes with this distinction. :roll: - (basically we will list your name and say congrats :oops: )

-You will be judged by a jury of your peers!

Good Luck!

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Twas the Night Before Christmas, in the sleep lab

Postby moosejaw13 » Wed Nov 21, 2007 8:55 am

Sincere apologies to Clement C. Moore

Twas the night before Christmas and I was quite miffed
Because someone had scheduled two folks on my shift.
One pt called out, a young lady called Shirley,
If the other one "no-showed" I'd be going home early.

I hung up my leads on a rack by the bed,
The RIP belts and EKG leads (white and red)
Were all laid out neatly in nice little rows
With leads for the "leggies" and "wiggle-y" toes.

When outside the lab there arose such a clatter,
I rushed the front door to see what was the matter.
The noises I heard were both boist'rous and gnarly
And I saw that my patient arrived on his "Harley".

He stepped off the bike and came into my view
A giant-like man with a rosy red hue.
He took off his helmet, walked into the light,
And I saw both his head and his beard were bright white.

"I've been quite sleepy lately," he said with a sigh,
Though a bright little twinkle remained in his eye.
"I'm falling asleep at the "reins" so to speak,"
And a plump little tear made it's way down his cheek.

"You're in the right hands," I assured my plump patient,
"Our little sleep lab is the best in the nation!"
"I'll watch as you sleep and know when you're awake,
With CPAP we'll help for the 'good children's' sake!"

"Just fill out these papers and sign them right here,
Then dress in your PJ's there's nothing to fear."
He put on red PJ's with surprising speed.
With the paperwork finished, I put on his leads.

On O leads and A leads, Cz, 3 and 4,
Right and Left eye leads, the mic for the snores,
The RIP belts secured 'round his "bowlful of jelly",
And the thermister placed 'neath his nose "like a cherry".

I led him to bed and I tucked him in tight.
I went to the door and I turned off the light,
And as I was closing the door up he peeped,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good Sleep!"[/list]
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Postby somnonaut » Wed Nov 21, 2007 1:19 pm

How can anyone compete?

Very enjoyable.
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Great JoB!

Postby labman2 » Wed Nov 21, 2007 2:01 pm

Excellent!

Keep em coming- but this will be tough to beat!

I may well be reading it to the staff at our XMAS party here.

Of course I will give full props to you moosejaw!-

So you will become a sleep tech poet legend here in NY.

I remember one of the old A2zzz issues had a few holiday parodies and will try to scout down the issue it was.

Again- excellent start.!
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Postby somnonaut » Wed Nov 21, 2007 3:02 pm

Send to Sleep Review?
Just a thought.

I am thinking of a song...
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Postby oldsleeper » Wed Nov 21, 2007 3:07 pm

Send to Sleep Review?
Just a thought.


Not a bad idea...Labman could send it to Frank?
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BUT WAIT

Postby labman2 » Wed Nov 21, 2007 3:38 pm

The contest has just begun.....

I am sure we have other contenders out here -

keep those yuletude brain logs burning.

I am working on a few ideas also-

perhaps - " All I want for Christmas is my new VPAP" - or - "Its beginning to look a lot like a Split night", or "Away in a sleep lab no sheets for the bed"- or-
-"I Saw Mommy socking dad who snored"

good grief- too many choices- feel free to use the above as a start and complete them to compete with our first stellar entry!

OK- found the link to the A2Zzz with the other holiday offerings. It is from 1998 - and the parodies etc. are on page 24 of link below.

http://www.aastweb.org/pdf/A2Z_1998_Winter.PDF

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Postby somnonaut » Wed Nov 21, 2007 6:13 pm

Did we all catch a glimpse of the A2Zzz Mission statement on page 2, while we all jumped to page 24 for the fun?
Attachments
A2Z mission statement.jpg
A2Z mission statement.jpg (44.31 KiB) Viewed 5933 times
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Somno

Postby labman2 » Wed Nov 21, 2007 6:26 pm

Hey- Somno bud- seperate thread! :cry:

this is the fun parody site- and now ya went and got all business like and distracted the creative process! :evil:

Stay focused on the parody entries folks- dont let Grinch Man get you of your game :lol:

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming........ :)
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Another one

Postby labman2 » Wed Nov 21, 2007 8:47 pm

Not as good as my friend moosejaw but should keep us rolling along towards more entries.

Of course being an official :shock: (ahem) voter- I must disqualify this piece from any votes! :lol:

Here goes- to the tune of I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus

I saw Mommy sock my Dad who snores
when I passed their bedroom late last night

She really looked perturbed
cause her sleep was so disturbed
My dad could wake a dead man
and it's getting on her nerves


I saw Mommy sock my dad last night
boy she really belted him but gooood!

He was heading for the couch
when I heard him holler OUCH!!
when my mommy socked my Dad last night!
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yet Another

Postby labman2 » Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:10 pm

Fourteen Proviso's - Sung to Frosty the Snowman

dedicated to the sleep labs that use the labs for "other" purposes when studies are not being done.- :lol: I meant like physical therapy and such :lol: :wink:


Fourteen Proviso's
He heard the Academy say
As he dropped the phone
He heard her groan
"We'll be back again some day"

Fourteen Proviso's
For the crazy stuff they found
Like the in-room bar
And the poker cards
And the fancy sequined gowns


There must have been
a lot of shock
when the Board heard all this stuff
-especially when the site visitor said
that the staff was in the buff!!

Fourteen Proviso's
And it's just a 2 bed site
But the hourly rates
on the 2 front gates
suggested something
wasnt right.

Bumpity Bump Bump
Bumpity Bump Bump
Fourteen PRO-VIS-O's
Bumpity Bump Bump
Bumpity Bump Bump
Some nights were very slow!
Last edited by labman2 on Thu Nov 22, 2007 5:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby somnonaut » Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:49 pm

You got WAAAYYY too much time on your hands. Don't you have some "answering" to do or something?
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Postby SCNVsleep » Thu Nov 22, 2007 12:15 am

This one's too easy to pass up...I think you'll all know the tune.

You're a mean one, Somnonaut.
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel,
Somnonaut!


You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.


You're a monster, Somnonaut.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You've got garlic in your soul,
Somnonaut!


I wouldn't touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.


You're a vile one, Somnonaut.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile,
Somnonaut!


Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick crocodile.


You're a foul one, Somnonaut.
You're a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk,
Somnonaut!


The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."


You're a rotter, Somnonaut.
You're the king of sinful sots.
Your heart's a dead tomato splot
With moldy purple spots,
Somnonaut!


Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.


You nauseate me, Somnonaut.
With a nauseous super-naus.
You're a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse,
Somnonaut!


You're a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool
sandwich
With arsenic sauce.
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Postby strawberri » Thu Nov 22, 2007 1:43 am

Editing - Okay, I have been told I left out the "tune" to my song...sorry!
It is "borrowed" (with sincere apologies to the original author) from the song "All I want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth".

All I Want For Christmas Is My CPAP Machine


My husband just pauses and stares at me
This snoring has to go or divorced I will be
I don't know just who to blame for this catastrophe!
But my one wish on Christmas Eve is as plain as it can be!

All I want for Christmas
is my CPAP machine,
my CPAP machine,
Just listen to me try to breathe!

Gee, if I could only
have my CPAP machine,
then I could wish you
"Merry Christmas."

It seems so long ago since I could sleep,
My husband just wishes I would take a flying leap!
Gosh oh gee, how happy I'd be,
If I could only sleep without the wheeze!

All I want for Christmas
is my CPAP machine,
my CPAP machine,
Listen to me snore!!

Gee, if I could only
have my CPAP machine,
then I could wish you
"Merry Christmas!"

**And my vote is split between Moosejaw's great post and SNCV's version of the "Grinch"....both are winners!
Last edited by strawberri on Sun Nov 25, 2007 3:14 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby Plain » Thu Nov 22, 2007 4:28 am

I was gonna try my hand, but Moosejaw's entry is just too awesome!! He gets my vote (um, if I have one).
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